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The Leap

Greetings all, and welcome to The Healing Hearth.


I write to you from my bed today, a space I continue to come back to to heal, to reflect, to introspect, to rest.


I've been finding myself lately on the cusp of great change, and I wonder if you can relate at all. The rawness it feels to start off on a new path. One that hasn't been chosen for you. One that inspires me, that defies the realm of logic and the safe confines of my ego lens. One that I feel the potential of great happiness, freedom, joy, laughter, love, and light. My soul cries for me to follow, to take the breadcrumbs Spirit leaves before me on a daily basis, to rebuild my foundation and find solace and trust that this path is Divinely guided, and therefore is my birthright.


But on the other side of that coin comes grief, of mourning, of the forgotten inner child cries. The grief that comes with letting the old me die, so a new, lighter, brighter me might be resurrected from the ashes. And that, if I'm being honest, terrifies me. I hear an old inherited critic within my mind, questioning me. "Who do you think you are?" "What are you thinking?" "This feels like an uphill battle". I battle many of these lenses of lack, of limitation, of shame, of guilt, through loving awareness and softness. It is such an odd experience, as I try to loosen the anxiety in my muscles and soothe my inner child. I coo to her that to follow a feeling is not thinking, but that's what makes it all the better. By chasing a feeling, I am able to be open to the Divine unknown that is co-creatorship. I can still chase divine inspiration, and remain safe. I am just transcending the norm that I find around me.



The truth that lies here is that both are valid. I am allowed to have doubt and still move forward. I am allowed to follow my heart, regardless of my fears from past traumas. I am free to challenge my lens, to consider that perhaps I don't know everything that will happen, and that is alright. I am open to releasing control, and to dream into creation who I truly want to be on this planet and do. I am free to challenge my inspiration, to confirm that this is in my highest and best good and not just impulse. I am free to sit with this feeling of uncertainty, and to allow my feelings to come to the surface, while also accepting that my feelings are not fact, that they pass on given time, space, and grace.


And therefore, I come to a crossroads. Do I want to continue to move forward as I have been, in fear, in disempowerment, in letting the criticism of others "keep me in line" with what is accepted and seen around me? Or do I further allow myself to trust, using my heart in lieu of my mind these days, to chase my joy and that which makes me feel alive? To make choices out of love instead of find restrictions out of fear?


And here I find myself, on the edge of the cliff. Ready to take a leap. "But am I ready?" As ready as I may ever be. I've got to put myself out on that limb to see. How invigorating trust can be. To move past which my eyes have seen, and challenge my "truth" in my perspective, to be open to be proven right, wrong, something altogether. Proof comes from the eyes, from our ego. But trust comes from the heart, from our soul. And so today, I seek to balance. To honor my ego for keeping me safe, and for guiding me from situations where I have learned in the past. But to also honor my soul, to believe and trust in unlimited potential all around me, and to believe my inner knowing that divine inspiration has lead me to this point. And now comes my free will. Will I take the leap? Will I jump?


Yes, I trust.


Affirmations:

I trust where Spirit leads me, even if it challenges my current reality.

I believe in myself and in my abilities.

I am whole and capable.

I am free to co create with Spirit my life in my highest and best good.

It is okay to release that which no longer serves.

I thank my ego for keeping an eye out, and forgive myself for my fear of change.

I trust that whatever is for me cannot miss me.

I trust myself.

I trust The Universe.

I am free to create any reality I desire.



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