Let me preface this with the following: I know this post starts in the worst way possible - by explaining an inside joke I took away from my late grandmother’s funeral, of all places… What a way start back up after a multi-month silent hiatus! I know - ballsy. But luck favors the bold, and I have a point, I promise.
After Grammy Lo’s funeral, our family hosted a Celebration of Life, which was full of people, food, and drink. There was a full raw bar with locally caught oysters & clams, beautiful heirloom salads, fancy cocktails… what can I say? Anderson’s just know how to throw a good party! But for my beloved partner, Joe, a born & raised Central NY boy, there was a key element severely lacking. A classic, “fat boy Italian sando", as he would call it, as he hopelessly searched the baren sandwich platter, only to find picked over bread and a few sad rejected tomato slices. He was distraught and hangry… how tragic to run out of sandwiches! And eventually, he talked about it enough to break my cousin, who cried out “JOE! Waddup with the sandwiches??” This cut through his zeroed-in mindset on sando fomo, and caused us all to laugh. There was so much food there he could have eaten instead, but he couldn’t stop looking at what he didn’t have and so badly craved - the Fat Boy Sando.
So now, whenever Joe or I get hung up on getting our way, we playfully ask each other “Waddup with the sandwiches??” It’s a funny way to bring each other back to reality and gently remind the other we are getting a little too fixated on something we think we need, and to look around at other options.
Now, Liz... wtf does this have to do with manifestation? The manifestation game has gotten trendy. Honestly, we could even say Spiritualism & Witchiness has been on the rise as we collectively go through this awakening, and TikTok culture grows. We are becoming more aware of the systems at play around us, and breaking up the illusion that we have to just take what we are given. We collectively are accepting more that maybe there are other forces at play that we can work with to make our lives easier and, dare I say, freer?
Co-creatorship is the idea that our life is a beautiful concoction of contributions by the Universe, the Divine, whatever you resonate with, and aligned actions by you. It’s anything from casting a spell to getting off your ass to do the thing you say you want to do, and everything in between. Basically, think you and the Cosmic Intelligence are in cahoots for your Highest and Best good, and it takes both sides to move forward for growth.
When we look at things we may be unhappy or uncomfortable with, we want a way to feel in control of the situation, or at least have half the vote. So Manifestation Magic is honestly a great solution for the witchy-inclined to float towards. Like I can change * gestures wildly * THIS NONSENSE? Sign me up!
And we can get so devastated when our manifestation magic doesn’t work out. Or doesn’t it? There are so many more elements to manifestation - timing, consent, others’ mental & emotional states, general Earth School and the lessons you need to be prepped on first. We’re not privy to the hold up of our manifestations, but we are VERY privy to how the Universe seems to be taking her sweet ass time…
In February 2022, I did some candle magic to call my True Partner into my life. I was ready to welcome in love, acceptance, companionship, smokin’ hot sex… the works! I got a special lovers candle, which was wax molded into two people in embrace, with two wicks. I brought out the works - flowers, herbs, salts, a written spell. That spell took off - literally! The flame of the embrace candle reached 6 inches high! The experience made me question if fire magic is really the safest magic for me to participate, but regardless the flame was strong! Everything within and without me screamed “AND WE MAKE IT SO AND SO IT IS”.
And then nothing happened. Months went by. My emotions evolved from peace and trust using the Law of Attraction (”Look at these FLAMES! Mine already!”) and eventually sloshed over into FOMO. I was TERRIFIED I’d genuinely miss signals and neurotically scanned my surroundings to hopefully find True Partner) and was constantly disappointed when I didn’t find him. Was I going to be alone forever?
Then came May, my birthday month, and I decided I was going to have the best birthday ever - by myself! I bought myself a new house plant, went to the cheese monger and assembled a cheese picnic for one, then drove over to my favorite park with my dog. We walked, we ate, I painted watercolor under a shady tree on a blanket. The day rejuvenated my soul. It was everything I wanted. I felt special. I felt peaceful. It was this day that I was journaling and I realized that I finally felt okay with being by myself. It was like the day the Universe met me and so politely poked at me “Liz… Waddup with the sandwiches?”
Blissful Birthday Liz, May 2022
I had been suffering, and until this moment I didn’t realize it. Not to be dramatic, but I was honestly afraid I was going to be alone forever. As a result, I felt like whatever I was doing was not as valid or not as good as it would be if I just had someone to experience it with. As I type this, my inner critic is punching me in the head saying “that was so stupid!”, and you know what? Yes it was. And that’s the conclusion I needed to come to. I had to challenge that thought, and point out that the two things are completely uncorrelated. I didn’t need anyone to validate my existence, or to tag along for me to have the best time of my life. In other words, I called out my fear for the nothingness it really was. I realized that this pain was my old pal Loneliness, and that I shouldn’t let that stop me from enjoying the beauty in front of me. I began to loosen my grip and let go.
In those remaining 4 months until the “magic happened”, I gave myself permission to finally detach from the results of my ritual. I decided that the outcome was already mine, and I might as well enjoy the ride! I agreed to let the tarot cards fall as they may, if you will… I finally trusted that at very least, if my magic didn’t work, I would still make sure I was more than ok.
The second I let go of my sad girl sando, I opened my heart to feel gratitude for that which actually was. I finally saw that I was wasting my own time hyper fixating on an expectation! Looking back I wonder, what was I really scanning for anyway? Besides what I DIDN’T want. The vibration I was putting out there was protective and “get away you weirdo”, not even CLOSE to the tune of “come hither”. In those months, I would accept that I could read people well at approach and trust my intuition in the moment, and as a result let go of my Singles Only Scan. Turns out I could read all the no’s from a mile away even without a scan! And the ironic thing is - I didn’t even realize Joe was a yes when I met him. I guess I had mastered the art of not paying attention! Ironically, I was manifesting my dream kitchen, and went randomly countertop shopping one Saturday, in total sando fixation to find an interesting natural stone, not paying attention to this cute countertop salesman who would go on to steal my number from my client file, and the rest is history. I guess you could say I got two birds with one granite stone. (I know that pun was a stretch, but even if you don’t find me funny, you gotta admit the Universe has a good sense of humor, even if I butcher the punch line.)
The point to this long winded story is if your manifestation magic isn’t working, are you sure? Or are you being asked to shift too with your environment? Waddup with the sandwiches? The Universe has a plan that is going to veer outside your expectations and limited human scope of possibility. We HOPE manifestation is linear, but for our magic to work sometimes the Universe points out something to see to first. There is always an energy exchange, and in order to welcome in change there has to be a release. And we may not be super happy about it in the moment! Like how many times in your life did something you want fall through only to find something later on that was a better fit all along? Thank Goddess. Or what about the times you begrudgingly settle to compromise in your relationship, only to in a few weeks come to the realization that that compromise worked out in your favor? Or how about jumping from job to job, wishing for a better work life balance, and the Universe gives you “what you want” to show that what you really want is boundaries to protect you from being exploited? At the end of the day, successful manifestation requires intention, detachment, and gratitude. There is no way around it.
So the next time you get frustrated at a turn of events that you did NOT fucking ask for, ground yourself and ask yourself: Waddup with the sandwiches? What expectation am I fixated on? Why do I feel like I can’t let this go? What do I really need? What do I have that I am grateful for now? Do I trust things are going to work out in my best interest? Am I trying to micromanage the Universe? Leave space for answers and feelings to come up, adopting a lens of neutrality. Easier said than done, but try the best you can. You might be surprised to see what shifts are being highlighted in the moment, remembering that The Universe is always working in your favor.
Truth is, we always have options. Ultimately it comes down to how flexible we are mentally and how much we allow ourselves to let go and let God. It can be triggering to unlearn thoughts and patterns we thought kept us safe, but now see through the illusion. Remember to ask for help if you need, especially if you can’t seem to find options. True friends will show their love for you and want to support you. Maybe even you logically let go of an energy, but are having a trouble moving past it still! That’s when you call in your favorite Reiki Master (oh hi it me) to release the outdated energy and thought forms. Or you can dance, shake, shimmy, scream, paint - whatever moves energy! If you don’t have an answer yet, that doesn’t mean its not coming. It’s just waiting on the perfect time.
And, yes, sometimes the things holding you back ARE outside of your control, but that’s when you sashay out of the witches closet and make some magic happen. Then, remember it is already yours, and trust the Universe is going to hook you up when you need it the most. Co-creatorship in her finest form!
In Loving Memory of
Grammy Lo